• Doc Marty

A lesson on KARMA... from my cat!

Updated: Jun 27, 2019

So where do I start? How on earth do I explain last night to anyone? I had a good laugh at my life and thought I'd write a little story about it. I'm sorry this is a long post but I promise you it'll be worth it.

2:45 am Krüger House is filled with sounds of a cat fight, like a MAJOR screeching session with hissing, bumping and things crashing and falling over. Now I know my male cat is on the bed with me and that another cat has obviously entered my home and decided to have a duel with Karma (my female furrball).

I hurried over to the lounge and was expecting to see two angry kitty's having A go at each other and I'd just give a little shout and break them up, go back to sleep and end the thing but nah, God has different plans for me. Turns out the neighbours cat is actually a leopard, a 15kg Lebanese fighter from joburg south straight out of Virgin Active with the steroid needle still stuck in his ass. This was no normal cat! I made my presence felt by letting out a burly (as deep a voice as I can muster, similar to a 15 year old choir boy) shout. Sean the leb cat left through the window and thank goodness never attacked me. He was THICK boet.!

I walked over to my very shaken up little princess who has been nursing a flu all weak so is seriously tender and clearly not in the mood to fight after being to the vet and being medicated. Turns out as I stroke her I feel something strange about her coat, it's sticky. Then it hits me. The stench. Karma is actually half beaver and decided to use an age old self defense mechanism and was so scared she literally shat herself. Now this wasn't an ordinary shit, this shit was propelled by her flailing and very active tail which spun like a Cessna's propellor and flung that poo everywhere. Everyyyyywhere. My pillows, my couch, the carpet and now also my hand. This was gross but I kinda felt like a parent does with their own children, just get on with it clean up, this is unconditional love.

I got the toilet roll out and proceeded to clean up the stinkiest, liquidest, 'self defense kak' you've ever seen and gagged about twenty times (the linen is in the washing machine as I write this). Not fun. But I've still got a traumatised kitty covered in her own poo and stinking up a storm. So dad got in the shower and proceeded with giving Karma a shower and shampoo. Have you ever showered with a cat? Ya, probably not but I'll say this my neighbours must think I'm a stallion in bed with the wailing and howling that went down in my bathroom last night. 15 minutes of pure murderous torture for my cat, but she made it out alive.

I spent another 25 minutes drying her and making sure she was poo free before I went off to sleep. Miss sulky pants DID NOT like her dad understandably. This morning I woke up to the smell of Schwartzkopf organic shampoo accompanied with a wet nosed kiss on my forehead from what I'm assuming was a content and grateful cat-child of mine. Karma was back to her normal self and based on the loud purrs was saying thanks for last night.

I can only imagine how satisfying being a parent must be if this little 'thank you' warmed my heart so much. This was my Friday night and I won't be forgetting it too soon. Neither will my neighbor who gave me a high-five this morning and said nothing, just smiled. I'll let it slide, at least one person more can think I'm a stud muffin rather than a 'cat dad'. Life is beautiful. Thanks for getting this far and have a special week further, love you all.

But I love my cats hey...

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